


A Beautiful Friendship

by BlackIris



Series: Fucking February 2018 [27]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Deadpool (2016), Deadpool (Comics), Deadpool - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fucking February 2018, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Mentions of Sex, Multi, Other, Reader-Insert, Swearing, Wade Wilson Breaking the Fourth Wall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 20:23:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13818765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackIris/pseuds/BlackIris
Summary: Fucking February 2018Day 27: All Characters are LGBT+





	A Beautiful Friendship

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you @prettyyoungtragedy for wanting more Wade Fucking Wilson, you sparked this plot bunny. Which was very much needed cuz I had no clear idea what to do for this prompt.  
> This could be considered / is kinda a prequel to Can’t Break What’s Already Broken I didn’t mean it to be, but it works well.  
> Un-beta'd, enjoy!

Steve leads you through the building, showing you some rooms, ignoring most others. It’s not a proper tour and you can feel something is off about it. 

“And I’m sorry about this next part.” Steve says, as you hear the door at the end of the hall open to reveal a man in dark jeans and hoodie with the hood up. 

“Well hello there!” the dark figure shouts merrily.

“What’s going on?” you ask, not sure if you should be bracing for a fight or not.

“It’s part of our protocol now. Tony’s idea. New recruits, even intel agents like yourself, have to be shown around by Wade Wilson. He has a certain charm about him that really helps weed people out.”

Wade slides up to you, bumping his hip into yours, nocking you off balance. “Hey there sunshine! Ready for your tour of the magical land of Oz?” 

“Oh-kay.” You look back to Steve for answers as Wade drags you off. 

Steve only gives you a tight guilty smile as you disappear the way Wade came in. “Come on, even Cappy-poo got that reference!” 

“Oz?” you question. “That’s cuz it’s old like Steve.” You let slip before you realize it. Chuckling at yourself as Wade beams a creepy yet happy smile at you.

“Oh, we’ll get along just fine, little darling!” 

He moves you through the compound, showing you various new things. “What did the bisexual capsicle already tell you?”

“Bisexual capsicle?” you giggle, which only encourages him. 

“Yes. This tour includes all general and high clearance areas, don’t tell Tony, as well as a general run down on everyone working here. Daddypool knows all!” 

“So, you have dirt on everyone. Is that why you show the newbies around?” You’re still trying to get a read on Wade, questioning if he speaks in half truths like an oracle or is just plain crazy. 

“It’s a bit of both. To both your questions. Keeps things more fun!” 

Together you move to a small walk way, over looking a training area. You both pause and lean against the railing watching in awe at the sight before you. 

“Since you’re all technically and number-y” Wade says, pushing imaginary glasses up to the bridge of his nose. “You won’t send nearly as much time down there training as the rest of these losers.” 

“I won’t have to do that, right?” You ask shakily, pointing to where Nat and Bucky are sparing. It looks so effortless, like a well-rehearsed dance. Something you know is far beyond your skill set. 

“Maybe. Nat likes to train everyone to get to know them better. Besides you could probably pick up a few of her tricks. They’re deadly but good.”

You glance at Wade questioningly.

“Pretty sure Mama Spider down there is Ace but just uses her feminine wiles on us poor folk who think with our fun bathing suit bits instead of our brains.”

You chuckle, “That could definitely come in handy.” 

“And Bucky. He’s bi too. But he doesn’t really talk about it. I’ve seen him checking out my ass, before. Sadly, though his type is much more nerdy hacker types than mouthy killer types.” Wade sighs wistfully, his comment about the handsome soldier making you blush slightly. “Plus, he’s got those thighs of betrayal. What I wouldn’t give for a ride.” 

Trying to change the subject, you ask, “What about Clint? I heard he took Wanda under his wing, so to speak.” 

“Bird brain definitely did; witchy lady killer is just one of his many adopted children. It’s like the freaking von Trapp family with how many kids he has.”

You follow Wade as he walks away, tearing your eyes from the skilled movements below you. 

“The chiseled Dorito told me you’ll be working with Tony a lot.” Wade comments punching in a code to open the lab doors. “We’ll get you your codes later, probably, I don’t know, I don’t really care. Not my department. Though, if you ever get locked out, I can break you in.” 

You’re almost giddy, the technology calling to you to play with it. Wade skips through the lab picking random items up and moving them about creating a hap hazard pile. 

“Won’t Tony be upset with you doing that?” Pointing to the precarious pile, you laugh as it starts to shift a little. 

“He’s too distracted by his posy. Tony’s as poly as a pentagon. Some kind of anniversary this week, which is why we haven’t seen him yet.” Wade says while stabilizing the pile, smiling brightly when he deems it finished. “They’re doing the dirty!” He finishes, making a few hip thrusts with clenched fists. 

You laugh at the childish antics of the deadly man in front of you. His crazy seems to be handle able, at least in small doses so far. 

“So, what about you Wade? Got any weird quirks I should know about?” 

“Aside from my favorite stuffed unicorn. They know what I’m talking about.” He nods towards the wall. “I’m as Pan as they come, and then come often. That’s a pretty little double entendre for you, nice little bow and everything!” He mimes tying a bow and presenting you with a small parcel. 

You nearly snort, not fully knowing how to respond to such statements, gracefully accepting the imaginary parcel with a slight bow. 

“Don’t worry about me. I saw you making eyes at Winter Numb Nuts earlier. I know you haven’t met him yet, but I say go for it! Life is short! Or would be if I could fucking die. Death, you cruel mistress.”

“I was not.” You squeak out, looking guilty and trying your best not to. “Ok, maybe just a little.” 

“Own it girl! Work that thang!” Wade says snapping his fingers in the air twice. “Kill him with your confidence. You two little bi babies would be just the most annoyingly cute thing I’ve ever seen.”

“How –“

“I know all, little one! That’s why my skin’s so bumpy – it’s full of secrets!” He whisper yells, pulling up the sleeve of hi hoodie to show you his forearm.

“Now, let’s go find Stevie baby. He probably thinks I’m corrupting you.” 

“Maybe.” You say smiling. “You don’t seem too terrible though.” 

Wade laughs robustly, throwing an arm around your shoulders. “(Y/N), I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”


End file.
